Is that really so.
Breaking up with someone, ending a friendship, a relationship of any kind really...how do you, either one of the people thats been in it, know when it's right, when it's okay and when you are really ready to go back to that person, let that person in again, even if it's just casual talk on msn, or spontaneous flirting through text msg:sing..how do we know? And if we do end up, whatever relationship it's been, back together in one way or another has what has happend when you've been apart, or will what has happend while you were apart, have damaged and hurt the other person so much stand in your way? Will it be like an infected wound? Every wound looks diffrent but second chances is a gift and wounded, not wounded or an infected wound despite that...every person deserves a second chance.
Like a million dollars.
Its no secret to the pepole around me, people i like, people i dont like, and people that heard about me and the stuff thats been going on through other people, that its been rough the past weeks. Things changes, times changes and thats what happend. But i want to thank my beutiful true friends and family for being there for me... there are some people you really know will be there through good and through bad. You guys have been great and i think, or i know, that you know who you are. You have ways, that others dont, to make me feel like a million dollars even when i feel like im at the lowest point. Im worth a million dollars and more. And some if that is thanks to you. Thank you. So to you, those family and friends.... because you breath, i breath.
You can't have it all.
But this dress WILL be mine before the end of the summer, or even the end of spring. Great dress to wear to all the places I'm plning on going to this summer, US, then Greece and then the US again...maybe i should just stay there? Hahah. Anyways. Magical dress.
Doing it the right way, or my way?
When it comes to making decisions, and it's decisions that you can't make, when someone close to you have to make a decision, but it's a decision that involves you, that will change/not change things for you, then how do you do it? Do you keep away, no talking, no seeing, no nothing and is that the right way? Or do you do it your way, tell them/him/her what you think, how you feel and what maybe frightens you, or makes you not scared...and is that your way...or the proper way? How do we really know what to do? And how do we really know how to act? And are we so scared that what we say or do will affect that persons decision so we are too scared to actually say or act the way we would really like to? I think that when someone is making a decision, that includes you, if the decision is moving somewhere, going somewhere on vaccation for the summer, buying a new bed, a new cauch or telling a friend what you have seen his/hers boyfriend really do, or if it's a friend accepting a marriage proposal...whatever it might be you have to do, say and act so that you feel that you have done all you can. That you have let your gaurd down and actually been rock bottom honest, so that you know that you have done it all, you have done everything you can...and it's no longer in your hands. I have done all i can. It's no longer in my own two hands. I take that back, i haven't stepped on that air plane yet...that's all there is left to do. Will i do it? Will i ever do it? Would it be the right thing to do?
After some after noon tea.
I have been thinking and trying to evaluate, is it so that there is one Mr. Right and the rest is just a Mr. Right Now? And if that's ho wit is, why waist the time we share with the Mr. Right Now if we could be with Mr.Right? Or is it the knowledge, experience and unanswered questions with the Mr. Right Now that makes Mr.Right even more Mr.Right? I don't know. But it sure is a trick question. Are woman all over the world just out there dating, trying diffrent kinds of people, to figure out who Mr. Right might be? Why be in a relationship and give all of you to someone if you don't think that that person is Mr. Right, no matter if you are a boy or a girl, wouldent't that be some waste of time? Don't we just know when Mr. Right comes along, don't we know it...at least eventually? Is Mr. Right Now just the substitue for Mr. Right to come along...and how long can we keep playing the game, share the dance with someone that isn't Mr.Right? And why is it so scary, for both men and women, to see when someone is Mr.Right and actually dare to hold on to that someone... What if Mr.Right is in your life for severel years, if Mr.Right is someone you break up with when you are young that it didn't work with then but you stay in eacothers life and aventually realizes that you are eachother's Mr. and Mrs.Right? Some say we have two great loves in our lives and some say we have three.... and some say there is one great love and you are lucky if you get to experience it and a fool to ever let him/her go.
I know it....and probably have all along the way.
When i think about the coming weeks, the coming months I see the great end, the "final" destination and it puts a smile on my face, but also it brings tears to my eyes cause there will be someone and something missing. One of my best friends, one of the persons that has the biggest part of my heart won't be there with me. And that kinda takes some of the joy and some of the happiness all away, it was a good mile stone, one of the big steps on the way. But i should have seen it coming, I should have known better, it's just that my heart was in it...my heart was all in.
Damn right.
Only you.
Only you knew. Only you are the one that knows. Only you is what it was, what it is and what it will be. It's undeniable, unforgetable and uncontrolable.
Labeling and defining.
So how do we know how to really define and say what some of the people are in our life, what connection, relationship we realy have with some people? Is it so that we like to but label on people, that instead of saying that this is someone that had a huge part in my life and in my heart and now he/she is frined, or something, is to hard and to complicated so we say that he/she is a ex. boy/girlfriend... but dosent that sound mean, saying that someone is your ex, cause the person you are telling that will probably imidieatly think, or might even ask, why he or she dont play that part in your life anymore and then.. there you are, once again, thinking about it. Do we label people easily, is labeling someone being judgemental... and judgemental to who? Yourself, that person or the people you are telling the persons label too? Why do we label, and how do we define some of our "relationships", whoever it is? And why do we do it, does it matter, or do we just label and define the people that matters to us? Then let me say that there is wuit a few people i would like to know what label i have in their lives, or how they would define "what we have" or what "we" are.... labeling and defining, judgemntal or purely just...the truth, good or bad?
Secret love letters.
I'm sorry for how I acted, what I did and what I said. I'm terribly sorry. I really am. I did it wrong, i handled it worng and I never meant for it to get like that. But I'm not sorry i love/loved you and I'm not sorry that you are my true love or that i think we are meant to be. Other things will escalade or dissapear. Some things I'm sorry for, but I'm not sorry for what I had.
Truth hurts.
Double or nothing?
Inspired by cosmo?
One of my absolute favorite things to do is to buy cosmo, swdish, brittish and emerican version and light candles and just lay in my bed and read, read and read. There are great articles and some things that really can inspire you, both men and woman, and let me tell you, you can learn quit alot from it, about nothing and everything.
In the latest, March Issue, in the Brittish version it was a interview with hollywood hottie Ryan Reynolds. He opens up about what he thinks, and what he things in general that men thinks. Intresting. See i told you there is always something to learn... or try to understand?
" It's in men's nature to want to fix thingsm but I've learnt in relationships that a bunch of flowers won't always work. Sometimes it's more productive just to listen! "
" Finding The One is as much about timing as it is about the person. Some people aren't ready to settle down until they're 50; others find their soulmate at school and stay together, maybe with a rough road, but end up staying together forever. I'll know I've meet The One when i feel really "seen" by them - ther's nothing better than being appricíated for who you are".
" The role of understanding women is that there is no role. The mystery of women is what makes yoiu seem so magical - and so unlike us. And that's what's so great about love. Just don't tell anyone I've let you in on that secret."
Really, That's how it is?!
WOW
Soulmates or what?
Some people believe in soulmates, and other don't. I do. I think there is someone out there for everyone and if you are lucky you get to meet this person, in one way or another your paths will cross and you will get to experience that love, enjoy all that it's a bout, and be a part of something so major. But is soulmates someone of the opposite sex that has everything to offer you, that you have the greatest attraction, the most satisfying passion, the most intresting, fun and amazing conversations with, he/she knows what you are thinking before even thinking it yourself, this person might not be someone that thinks, feels or appriciates exactly the same things as you, maybe opposits attract? Or maybe that has got nothing to do with it. during the 4th season, the first episode, of SATC the girls are sitting at a night open café discussing their thoughts, feelings and belifes about soulmates and they decide, figure out, that the four of them are soulmates, so can friends/are friends also a soulmate... are friends the "real" soulmates and the boys/girls we date/are in relationships with the subsitute, or what are they...what is the dating game that some people play really all about, finding the love of your life or just some times fun? I believe in love, i believe in that ther is a someone for everyone. You might be my someone.
The notebook.
First heard this song in "How to lose a guy in ten days" and then when i rememberd it was in this movie too(The notebook) i just had to share it with you guys. Amazing song, and great video... That's how love is supposed to be.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjky7v7JIow Young Noah: It's not about following your heart and it's not about keeping your promises. It's about security.
Young Allie: What's that supposed to mean?
Young Noah: [yelling] Money. He's got a lot of money!
Young Allie: You smug bastard. I hate you for saying that.
Young Noah: You're bored Allie. You're bored and you know it. You wouldn't be here if there wasn't something missing.
Young Allie: You arrogant son of a bitch.
Young Noah: Would you just stay with me?
Young Allie: Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we're already fightin'
Young Noah: Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.
Young Allie: So what?
Young Noah: So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out.
Young Allie: What easy way? There is no easy way, no matter what I do, somebody gets hurt.
Young Noah: Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants? Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do YOU want? What do you WANT?
Young Allie: It's not that simple.
Young Noah: What... do... you... want? Whaddaya want?
Young Allie: I have to go now.
Gotta love 'em
Shoes and i are...a great match. Yesterday i found a pair of shoes i hope will be a part of my spring closet.
Or, who knows, i might change my mind!
Options... ohh so many?
Did you give it your all?
In a relationship with someone you share things with that person that other people might not ever have known about, might not have ever seen and you share thoughts, dreams and wanting with that person that has never been said /told to anyone else...is that giving all you have? What is really giving your all in a relationship? If i do all that, share all that, tell him/her all that have i then given the relationship all i have? I dont think thats all there is to it, i think giving your all is not leaving your partners side, not leaving your realationship just because things gets rough, fighting through the up and downs together, leaving the relationship when you have tried to make it work in all millions diffrent ways there is... and hopefully the two of you have given the same amount of fighthing, the same amount of blood, sweat and tears into it...and in a fantasy world, the two of you call it the quits at the same time, leaving the relationship at the same time, but for some reason.... one of you is always prepared, one of you have almoust always processed it in your body, mind, heart and soul processed your decission before even telling the other person. But is leaving a relationship when you break up? Or when one of you meet someone new? Or do you ever really leave a relationship? And what if you dont give it your all, you dont fight til the end...is it really an end then, or is it a door just half way closed, and that's why you can't leave one another alone, why you can't and why you don't want to fully let go...?
All these questions and really, who has the answer?
What it is.
What really bugs us and what we can't get out of our heads, is that the things that we know abou or the unknown that is messing with our heads? If i knew the answer i guess i wouldent be sitting here wondering, sitting here with a few questions in my head, questions i would never ask, questions i'm afraid to ask because of what the answer might be, the answer that i'm soooo sure i already know. But if im so sure why am i sitting here trying to figure it out? Am i not sure...really am i not sure or am i sure? I wish i knew, not the answer to the questions maybe but i wish i knew if i was sure... am i making sence? And what really makes sence? Is making sence when you understand something that has happend, or hasent happend, or is it accepting something, dealing with it and moving on, or is it when we finally realize that what happend was for the best because of a bunch of diffrent factors(because maybe the team that won has the best individull players, for example), or is the definition so simple as this; "Be reasonable or logical or comprehensible", if it is, why do people, as me, intend to sit and analyze things to rock bottom, to a point where we no longer knows whats white or black, what really really happend, or why am i still thinking about it?
Life is intresting, life has it charms and life has its whirlwinds...is it the understanding of all that that fulfill a purpose? That might just be it,
There is one for all of us.
We all have a Mr.Big in our lives. We all have our own Mr.Big. And i know who my Mr.Big is.
