Wishing upon a fallen star.

I was up late last night, thinking and analyzing... and no people, not about my failed relationship and the person i was in it with, suprinsingly? In deed but yet true. I was thinking about friends and and how your relationship with your boyfriend/girlfriend and your friends is a life line or...a death line? What i'm saying is that these days when there is ALWAYS something to do, someone to do, places to be, places to see and so forth if your lover and your friends dont get along, how do we really make it work, then how do we get things together? Either you put on a act, make it work, get along for your own sake and for the people that matters to you, friends and lovers, or you are upstraight honest that you are not very fond of him/her and hope that the person can deal with it, or if you hear it you can deal with it. But would you, could you, see a future with a person that your friends don't approve of, dont we all want the great plus sides to a relationship as to being able to share everything with the person you love, and the friends that you love? Or is that the thing that it makes it all so great that it is forbidden, secret and...amusing if things are not great, if your friends dont like your somebody, or if your family dont like your somebody, is that hald the charm? I don't know, but i do know that it is something defenatly worth thinking about. And at times, figuring out.

Baby girl.

Adorable, and from what i can see now, i think this baby will be one beutiful young woman one day. WOW! Perfect genes? Well, obviously.

PEOPLE PHOTO EXCLUSIVE: Nicole Richie's Baby! | Nicole Richie

Good or bad?

So we say that there are good break ups and bad break ups, but what is really a good break up? How do you end something with someone, a someone who has meant the world to you, a someone that has been a part of your life for so long, someone that knows your deepest darkest secrets, who knows where everything is on your body, knows your weakspots, what turns you on, what makes you laugh, what your favourite ice cream and so forth, how do you end it on a good notice with that someone? I just don't know. But then, is every break up a bad break up? I wouldent think so. But then, what is the best, a break up where you totally let go of the person you have shared a life with or is it a better break up if you give one another time and eventually find your way back...as friends?

I guess i have really just had break ups where i in the end talk to the guys i have dated, in a weird and in some cases very complicated way we have found our way back, back to bering a part of eachothers life. Is that considerd a good break up then? Or is it bad because you want, and have,a person in your life who you either hurt or got hurt by?

Maybe there is no such thing as a good or a bad break up?

All the crazy things.

At times, Grey's Anatomy is just what you need... just what you can deal with, just what be just that, THE deal breaker. Famous qoutes from Grey's, it's time to learn about life.

" Don't look at me like that, like you have seen me naked"

" At some point, you have to make a decisionBoundries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we are made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines... that are way to dangerous to cross"

" We're adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop?"

Sometimes you just have to sit back and let things happen, and other times you need to pull yourself together and do what you have to do. Do what you want to do.


 


It's not all about you.

in a world like this people seem to think that everything is all about them. You break up, you end a relationship, you start a new relationship, you realize that that person really wasent all that,you have a fight with one of your girlfriends just to figure that what you fought about dont mean a thing, it or whatever you had your fight about is no longer that big of a deal...and honestly never really was. Women are living in a mens world, a world that everyone think is controlled by men, a fanatsie world, women think it is because in some weird way men seem to be more dominant, but really they are not. Life is a game, maybe it is like the computer game "the sims", someone is telling us what to do, when to do it and how to do it. Love is a game, dating is a game, school is a game ... everything is a game and people have diffrent game plans, different strategise. And it's hard when women and men who are really in it for the same thing, with the same porpuse, the same intentions both put up with a defensive game.

"Offense win games, but defense win titles(championships)"
Is this really what it's all about?

Im just having fun.

Seriously, there are things that we do that we keep to ourselves,  not even the closest people to us, our best friend, our Mom/Dad or our sister/brother or maybe co-worker will ever know about, never even know that it has happend, who it happend with or such. The things you do decide to tell peole are usually things that matters to you, but that dosent mean that what you dont tell don't mean as much. I have done things, meet with people, that i would never tell to a single soul, not because im embarresed by it, but because maybe it meant, or mean, more to me then i would want to knowledge. That might be right where i'm at right now. I want to do my own thing, figure things out within myself, put myself through all these diffrent tests, at work, at my internship, with my friends, with "unknown" people,in school or....well, basically anything or anyone. I need to get things straight, i need to explore... not explore the world, or maybe thats just what i need. 

This is fun. This is intresting. This could be heartbreaking, shocking, end up in plenty of drama...But in the end this is all about ME!

Today would be.




24th

1,5

18


That's what it would have been.


Memories.

For all the people that matters to you...this should be true. It sure brings back memories for me... It's in the past.

A girl asked a boy if he thought she was cute


They boy said no


She asked if he wanted to be with her forever


The boy said no


And then she asked if he would cry if she left him


And once again, the boy said no


She figured she had heard enough by now and with tears running down her face she walked away, the boy grabbed her arm and said:


The boy said; I don't think you are cute I think you are beautiful


I don't want to be with you forever, I HAVE to be with you forever


I wouldn't cry if you left me, I would die


Well... just don't.

If there is something i hate, something truley and really bugs me, is when someone tell you that they will call, don't make plans cause i will call and i will let you know then when we can meet up... seriously, if you don't mean it don't say it. This is something i know that i do myself too, but i always try to at least send text saying i can't call right now i will try to call later, or something like that, and if i don't i feel bad about this for ages. Seriously, just dont tell me you will call and then dont...just don't.


Unbeliveble

Some days are just worst the others, in many ways, it's carzy. Today is just one of those days that are so busy...that if the bus dosen't get there on the minute when it's supposed to come everything will fall apart. Ever since i woke up this morning it has been go, go, go. Science in school, a class that we just had our big midterm in, and tomorrow is our last day before we will be gone frm school for 6 weeks, so what the heck could we possible do today? Well, we talked about the universe, kinda intresting. 25 minutes after that class was over with i had a meeting regarding our big graduation party, as a class, and then i had a interview conserning a spot during my internship...I GOT IT! Well then now here I'm, sitting at work and trying to get my work done and at the same time try to prepare even more for this horrible exam i have tonight... an emxam im really dreading and that i have had nightmares about for the past last 5 days, then it's time for basketball... if there is anything left inside of me by then. Gooooood, just let this day end. And now when i look outside the window i can't tell if it's snowing or raining outside...please don't do this.

Sweatpants, sweatshirt, a good movie, take-out and some good company would be a dream come true right now. It would be great.


Is that so...





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNZV2C5bpmA


" If i lay here, if i lay here, would you lay with me and just forget the world?"



" I miss the you that i know, i miss the me that I'm with you, I miss the us that we were"


How do you know?

How do we, you and i, really know when the things we do, the things we want to do, the things that we have done... how do we know when they are right, how do we really know if they are good or bad? I know that there is a feeling before you do something that kinda indicates what you think and how you feel about what you are about to do, but do we ever, really, truely, know when something is good or bad for us?

How do we know? How can we tell?

It's time to step out of the shadow, step out of the past and focus on what's right now, on what the future has. Forget about what has been, especially the bad things, and liv elife to the fullest. Things goes wrong, you do things you regret but we have to be able to admit what we did, and that it was wrong, we should swallow our pride and be honest about things...we make mistakes, we all do, and i know i have, i know that every person i have in my life has and i think that a majority of them can admit that there is times when we need to realize what is at stake and sit down, think, analyze....and swollow the pride and be honest, if not for someone else...do it for you.

Hot girls and sport guys?

It's a match! These beutiful ladies find their loves in the heart of all the diffrent kind of sports all around the US. Love is in the air.

Kim Kardashian & Reggie Bush(Am. Football)
 Jessica Simpson & Tony Romo (Am.football)Eva Longoria & Tony Parker(Bball)



Girls just wanna have fun?

Fun night out and about with Sabrina, Sara and Johanna... :-)

image276


Sometimes...sometimes.

Sometimes it is better to show someone what you feel, how you feel, then it is to say it. Sometimes silence is your answer, sometimes not knowing is the answer. Sometimes thinking about what has been makes you stronger today, sometimes there is nothing to say, nothing to show... sometimes there is nothing.

I wish i would know what to do.


Really?



"Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep".
- Carl Sandburg 

Weird things.

It's monday... feels like it was just friday, this weekend passed fast. Nothing speciall really happend, had a great night with some of my girls friday and then there has been plenty of studying, cleaning and just relaxing. I'm kinda freaking out about my english speech that im doing wed. night. I'm literally freaking out about it, i woke up last night swetting about it. WOW! Well, all i can do is my best, and i guess i wont quit the class, so i better just keep going. Wish me luck though!

I gotta get back to work!


I think so.






" I rather regret the things i have done, then the things i have not"


I agree.

Empty room.

On of the Swedish contestans for participating in Eurovision 2008. Vote for her. GREAT song... i could be the one singing it, i think she is singing how i feel/felt.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=4K6cZGlcdxw&feature=related

Unbeliveble good.

" I thought we were good, we were meant to be
The way it turned out is still a mystery"

Just another day.

It's been a good weekend...so far. What would life be without these speciall people who helps you through and help you feel better, there is nothing my girls wouldent do for me, and that is a great feeling. Maybe friendships are deeper then other relationships? I dont know. I just know thta im trying to live life and not live in the past.

Friday night was a great night with lots of laughter and craziness... Saturday was nothing but school work and plenty of ice hockey, which is pretty much a good day, a quite day.... i guess i did some damage at the mall with my step dad too, gotta stay up at the top now, cant just give that up too. And today? Well, there will be soma dangerous studying, cleaning the apartment, working out and meeting up with some loved ones. A great day that is.

A friend said this qoute to me this weekend... a qoute that really got stuck with me:

" If it's rough, it's rough for both of you, but it's the will to do it together that gets the rough away"

I probably couldent agree more... I guess we missed out on that.
How are you people doing?

Back to basics.

Jag vet inte, men det känns jätte skumt att skriva på svenska och jag tror att jag kommer gå tillbaka till att skriva på engelska, men jag har inte bestämt mig ännu så fram tills jag verkligen har bestämt mig så blir det lite svenska inlägg här och lite engelska inlägg där... hoppas att det är okej!  

I have decided to write in english after all, it's easier for me to write in, i get more thoughts and feelings out of my system writing it in english. So it's back to basics....maybe. There will be posts in english and some in swedish til i have made my mind up again.

Last night was nothing but fun, since valentine's day is my Bonus dad's birthday i took him and my brother out for dinner, my mom was gone for some work thing. We had a blast and some really good food. It's nice to just go out and eat and talk about things, without anyone having to worry about cooking, doing the dishes or set the table. I hope the other two in my company enjoyed it as much as i did... but i think they did. I hope all of you out there had a good night and that you spent some time with the people that really does mean something to you.

Det är lustigt.

Det är lustigt hur vissa låtar påminner en om en massa olika saker, minnen, egentligen. Jag försöker lyssna på låtar som jag inte deppar ihop helt av just nu, låtar som inte är "våra", men någon dag ska jag väll klara det också. Snart kanske....vem vet? Just nu sitter jag och bara lyssnar på musik och just nu är det dom här låtarna som fångat mitt intresse mitt i den här stormen.

Kelly Clarksson - Never again
Chris Brown - With you
Heart - Alone
Heart - I didn't want to need you
No you hang up - Shayne Ward
Rihanna - Don't stop the music
Cascada .- What hurts the most
Cascada - Everytime we touch (Slow version)
Alicia Keys - No one
Akon ft. Micheal Jackson - Wanna be starting...
Seal - Amazing
Dixie Chicks - Not ready to make nice
Journey - Don't stop believing

Well, ibland är det så att musik är en del i ens läkande. Det här är lite av min playlist just nu... Worth downloading i'm telling you!

Valentines day!

Jag önskar er alla där ute en underbar alla hjärtans dag, hoppas att ni verkligen tar hand om er själva och de ni älskar, men självklart inte bara idag utan visa de som betyder något vad de betyder varje dag, det är dom värda och ni är värda att bli likadant behandlade. Ta hand om er själva och varandra. Jag har aldrig varit något stor fan av alla hjärtans dag, har aldrig riktigt gjort något speciellt eller liknande, men förra året hade jag bästa tänkbara dag med personen som betydde mest för mig, jag fick en ring som jag har haft på mig varje dag sen dess, en ring som synboliserade att det skulle vara vi hela livet....men things changes. Ha en bra dag!

Happy V-day!

Translation
-----------------------------------------------------------
Have a great valentines day, take care of the people you love, just not today but every day, do it because you every day counts and because there is no one else like that/those people. Make every day count. I have never been a big fan of valentines day, but last year was the best ever in my life, not alot could top what i got and who i spent it with. Things changes. Have a great day.

Att vara eller inte vara?

Det är inte lätt och det är inte kul, det är jobbigt, det gör ont och det tar tid... speciellt när det är så att man inte vill släppa, inte vill vara utan. Det som är ännu mer synd är att något som har vart så bra, något som har betytt så mycker och något som faktiskt har fungerat kanon igenom allt det vi gått igenom ska sluta så tvärt och så....oförklarligt. Men som jag skrivit tidigare kan jag inte göra något, jag kan inte och jag kommer inte. Var det nu man skulle sätta på sig hatten och försäka att bara gå vidare med ett brett leende på läpparna? Well, jag ska försöka, jag ska göra mitt bästa, jag ska göra allt jag kan... för mig själv.

Det kommer antagligen att se konstigt ut och känns konstigt för er att läs amin blogg på svenska, och det känns ännu konstigare för mig att skriva på svenska, det kan bli så att jag pendlar mellan svenska och engelska...beroende på vad jag skriver om osv. Hoppas att det är okej.

Solen skiner, fåglarna kvittrar, det är klarblå himmel och snart är det lunch. Sätta på sig hatten var det va(och leendet!?)... Time to go.

...


Jag kommer från och med nu skriva på svenska i min blogg, det kommer antagligen att finnas med en del engelska ord, citat och liknande, men jag har inte längre någon anledning att skriva på engelska. Om det är så att jag vill skriva på engelska så kommer jag nog att byta blogg adress helt och vill ni då veta den adressen så får ni fråga efter den i kommerntar fältet, men i will let you know! :-)

Translation
__________________________________________________________________________________________

I will NOT be writing in english anymore in here, the main reason I did was because i wanted Chad and i to have another way to communicate, and another way for him to know what i was doin, what i had been up to and such, but since time has changed i have decided to keep my blog but to write in Swedish. Of curse there will be times when there will be qoutes and such in english, songs and maybe even a few notes here and there, but the main language will be Swedish. There will be no things written in swedish that i would not be able to tell or already had told the people concerned. Have a good one!

Post it with love.

When i got home yesterday afternoon I had a package laying on teh kitchen table, someone had sent me a little present, or a little something. When i open it up it was a box of chocolates shaped as hearts and note inside saying: " Have faith! Love Helené". My heart melted. My friends are priceless. You are the reason i can breath right now.


Nothing to do.



I never did anything to hurt you, I never wrote anything to tell you what to do or not to do. I'm not a part of your life right now and i have no saying. I never meant for you or anyone else to think that you were a bad boyfriend, you were the best there is, thorugh good and bad, whatever it might have been you were there even if we were oceans apart no one was there for me like you were... if you would have been a bad boyfriend letting go wouldent have been hard, it wouldent hurt this much and it wouldent even matter. It matters, you matter, it hurts, it's hard to let you go when i dont want to, but im letting you go cause thats what you want me to do, im letting go cause you see nothing for us. I'm letting you go because i have to not because i want to, i'm letting you go because you want me to. So all i'm doing right now i'm doing for you, even though you might not think so. I want you to be happy, i want to be happy too, but i think our happy is diffrent happy. I just want us in the future to be happy with one another, whatever relationship that might be. I would give you the world if i could and all that you wanted. Maybe i should just let you go so that there is an opening for us in the future, so that i can keep you in my life, so that i can get you back in my life later on...so what we had isn't destroyed by us at this point. I'm letting you go.

I have.






"I have hope for you, that you are and will be happy. I have hope for me, that i will be happy and i have hope for us, that one day it can be us again, either as friends or as lovers. I have hope. "

It's a fact.





Game over.

You lost, you lost me.

Seems like I'm not the only one.

I'm trying to get things figured out, I don't understand what happend, I don't get it, and I guess that somewhat it dosen't make me feel better and it dosen't help me figure things out, but the people I have talked to that knows us both, people that are either here with me or "over there" don't get it either. I just wish I would understand, I just wish that someone would understand and tell me, explain it to me. I just wish that it would be okay that i picked up the phone to call you,  I just wish that this would make sense, or that... I just dont get it, I just don't know.

All i want to do is to call you, all i want to know is how you are doing, how is your knees, how did basketball go, how is school going... I just want to know. I just want you. But someone needs to make me understand.

I just wish... I just wish i would know....

Did you ever thin about...

Did you, or even do you, ever think about what you are missing. Do you ever think that you might ever get to see me again, never get to give me a hug again, never kiss me, never smell the smell of my hair, never smell the scent of my skin... you might never even get to see me smile again, never get to make me laugh again and never here me say "hello" or " i love you", "how are you", "i miss you", "i know you can do it"... did that ever cross your mind?

"Love floods us with hope"

"When the world says, "Give up,"
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."


I dont understand whats happening, i dont understand why you dont want to be in my life, with me, or more then just a friend, you told me there is nothing that i did, you just can't be with me, just not right now...well i think you meet someone, someone that might not mean more to you but atleast she is there and she can see you every night, she can watch you play every game, she can hold you when you are hurting, she can make you laugh and it's not thorough the phone...i wish i could and i can.. just not til after this summer, but that dont seem to matter. I dont seem to matter anymore...what we had and what we would have dont seem to matter.

I just wish i would matter to you, i just wish you would want me. I just wish you didnt have someone else.

For the future.






"You say in the future. The future is long ways away for me. Give me my future now. Give what you call the future now. "

"When it comes to the future, there are three kinds of people: those who let it happen, those who make it happen, and those who wonder what happened."

Either i will let it happen or i will make it happen. Just watch me.

Dreaming of you..




I woke up this morning...i woke up from a dream, a dream about you, about me and about the us we just to be.




By the way, people if you really dont have anything to say that's nice...just shut up, cause seriously i have enough right now, and if you are a friend of mine or such, why be a bitch...you might not like what i think and how i think it, but you are not me, so stop thinking, commenting and saying what i should or souldent think or feel. And seriously dont curse in my blog about something i have written. Kepp it to yourself then.


All i can do....







I have done, i have told you everything, i have told you that you have my heart and if you dont want me, there will always be a part missing... i could fly over, would you want me if i got there?

Just tell me...






Do you even love me?

Love like there is no tomorrow? Never again.



I just loved you too much to ever think this would happen to us. And there is nothing i can do...


Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry

You just broke my heart.

I never thought this day would come, how could i be so dumb?
You just broke my heart.



Changes.

Maybe i need to keep changing things, open up for new things since what i have had is now all gone.
Get my own apartment? I guess that would be a change, and something new. How about it? Well, i guess i will at least think about it...and as everything else, time will tell. Ohh how i hope things will tell.


When times gets rough.

Sometimes things happens, things that you feel like you have no control over. When these things happens i shut my feelings, thoughts and...well yeah, everything off. Its the easiest thing to do, maybe not the best, but it sure as hell is the easiest. When you make deiciosn out of something, a decision that you aren't a hundred procent secure with or that dosent feel all that good, but you still made the decision...then is it right? I could write a million questions on here, but im not gonna bother you with that. Therefor my blog will probably be more of a quote blog then anything else, atleast til i have my feet back on the ground, my heart and my head in the game again, i hope that it's soon, but i have no gurantees. All i want....


Believe.






What's meant to be will happen sooner or later, you just have to believe.

I believe

Whats going on?

"Time does not heal, but healing takes time."

"Take time to be sure, but be sure not to take too much time."

"Tomorrow isn't a promise, it's a chance."

I like all of these quetes but the one that truley made my stop and read it again is this one:
 "Love eventually grows if you allow time to play its part."

7 truths...about me?

Someone dared me to write 7 truths about myslef. Since the whole outlook for it was in swedish i will skip that and just write 7 things about me....that maybe some of you dont know? Hahaha. We will see. Enjoy.

- I sleep with more then one cover(täcke), even during the summer
- I'm deadly honest at times, if people ask for my oppinon they will get it straight out, some things should be kept to myself
- I turn of my heart and feelings when things are rough, but things looks good to the people around me atleast
- I don't like to drink and when it happens it's champagne at a special occasion, or like vise
- I'm stubborn to a degree where it at times hurts me more then doesn any good.
- Still talk to the guys that has hurt me in the past, which i shoulden't. Atleast not some of them.
- Diamonds, gold and espacially together is a huge weekness or maybe i should say... true love?

Well people, there you go some new(?) things you didnt know about me, or if you did and you know them "too" well, laugh at them :-)

Enjoy your evening.


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